Georgetown ITL Meets Silver Bay (in the theme park of my awareness...)
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way— in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.” —Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.
Still rings true. In this best/worst of times, many of us feel the call to personal and organizational transformation. For me personally, I get a lot of ideas, support, insights, and development from participating and presenting at conferences with different communities that I am a part of. As an Edgewalker (people who walk between worlds and have the ability to build bridges between different worlds), I’m a part of several diverse groups and communities, and the various frames of reference serve me in self-inquiry, and developing my thought and practices on how I serve my clients.
This Summer, I attended two conferences (well, a conference and a “forum”…) that have me contemplating the threads between them and the distillation of meaning for myself. The Georgetown Institute for Transformational Leadership took place in Leesburg, Virginia. It was a gathering of souls that have graduated in certificate programs (non-degree offerings through Georgetown) in things such as coaching, leadership, organizational consulting, diversity & inclusion, to name a few. About 5 weeks later, after an interim trip to Peru (but that’s another story…), I attended and presented at the Silver Bay Leadership Forum, where the theme and deep dive was into “failure”.
Some of the connecting threads between these two particular events:
- I attended each (or their then versions) for the first time at about the same time, 2003-ish.
- I led a sing-a-long at each event (!)
- Both have an authentic sense of community, inclusion, higher purpose
- I felt welcomed, valued and included
- I led a Face The Music songwriting session at each
- Resonance and connection
One of the themes that recurred for me, was these various tribes I parachute into, and how the bring people together around a purpose. Western culture is relatively focused about the “I” identity--Looking out for number 1, individual aspirations and achievements, the lone wolf. I think we have lost a lot of that communal power that is inherent in our human legacy. These sorts of gatherings, where there is an authentic shared identity, convene people together in a throwback to the tribe. There is a common vision shared by each, and the whole serves the individuals and their furthering of themselves in a holistic process, and giving is receiving, and the community reflects the individual self to foster growth and evolution.
For me as an Edgewalker, it is gratifying to experience the inclusion and acceptance as one that shows up, say, once a decade or so. That’s a pretty far orbit, but I’m still connected--to the group, to those I met and interacted with before, and with new relationships.
At Georgetown, I gained a lot of insights from the sessions. One in particular that speaks to my theme was “Integrating I-Culture and We-Culture: The Two Hemispheres of Collective Intelligence” delivered by Spring Cheng and Joseph Friedman. One of the take-aways I got from this session was, for them, there is no value judgment of either I or We culture being better, rather that a balance that fosters both aspects is the optimal system. “Wholeness is interplay between the two. If one is inhibited, the other gets weaker.”
I was able to see my friend, Chris Wahl, founder of the Georgetown leadership coaching program, whom I met at my first Silver Bay, and invited me and Face The Music to the 1st coaching alumni program back in the day. Definitely one of my mobile tribe, and also my entree into the Georgetown world. Seeing and speaking with her started me thinking about the whole arc of this tale of two conferences, and the multiple tribes of which I’m a tangential member.
Fast forward a month: Two days after my Peruvian adventure, I’m in the car motoring up to Lake George and the Silver Bay YMCA camp. The 101st (not a typo) Leadership Forum at Silver Bay--not always called by that name, but held every year since 1918. It’s a great setting, and a fecund group that is committed to keep this torch passing forward. This year’s theme: Failure. As well as vulnerability, resilience and the architecture of personal wisdom, and a deep dive into an experience that will likely make participants uncomfortable.
Upon arrival, attendees filled out an intake about preferences and biggest fears, and were then summarily assigned to the activity that was most likely to push their buttons. I was facilitating the songwriting and performance workshop. Afraid of singing in public? You’re in my group… This scheme pushed the fear of failure button, and for my teams, helped them find a road through fear through connection--"the We". [see how I brought that back around…heheh].
In the second article below, Joel Wright goes into depth on his Silver Bay experience.
These experiences have me reflecting on the myriad of connections I have; people in my tribes that I care for, learn from, and teach, and they do that for me. I have a lot of gratitude for the core groups that sustain and nourish these organizations, who dig the well we drink from. And I’ll come by every few years with pick in hand.
It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done…
--Paul Kwiecinski
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Growth Through Failure –
Conference Theme from the 101st Leadership Forum at Silver Bay
by Joel Wright
What do we have in life that we wouldn’t have without failure?
When did we last fail at something? What did we learn? What didn’t we learn?
What’s the connection between leadership and failure?
Like many topics, once we start studying something, we begin to make connections to it and discover examples outside our domain expertise or view of the world. This became my experience following the 100th Leadership Forum at Silver Bay when the topic of Failure and Leadership was surfaced for the 101st leadership forum. The more our community talked, explored and planned for the conference, the more many of us started seeing and hearing stories of failure and leadership everywhere.
For me, failure, growth and leadership turned up--in all place--at a bachelor party. First, let me say it was a clean bachelor party, just good old fashioned fun with long time friends, music, and in a beautiful place. The bachelor party occurred in Telluride, Colorado at the 46th Annual Telluride Bluegrass Festival about a month prior to the 101st Leadership Forum. On many levels it was truly surreal being there. The beauty of the place magically has a way of slowing one down and bringing one into the present. The music too contributes to being in the moment, taking one from external stimulation to internal contemplation and peace. And the container for all this, the timeless mountains cradling an intentional festival and community committed to environmental sustainability practices, a global humanity that can love and support each other and having fun! In all this, failure and leadership was central.
Right out of the gate, Chris Thiele’s first song signaled the essence of what we would explore at the 101st Leadership Forum. Read some of the lyrics or better yet listen to Chris Thiele open the festival with his new song, Failure Isn’t Forever. (He starts at 2:00 minutes, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7ds2h-MhRs).
‘Cause failure isn’t forever
No failures aren’t forever
Unless they never try to do better
We’ve left too big a mark
Casted too long a shadow
But failure won’t be forever
No failures aren’t forever
Unless they never try to do better
We’re gonna need some believers
To believe that failure won’t be forever
It’s just a point in time to get better
Yes, such wisdom throughout the lyrics yet that one frame, Failure isn’t forever...It’s just a point in time to get better. The song—such an arc of external rhythmic excitement and internal contemplation. The song resonated with me so much I thought it should be the theme song for the 101st convening. Instead of becoming the theme song, it became a type of early signal pointing to a critical mindset many successful leaders learned to have.
A month later this theme of Failure isn’t forever...or that it was necessary on the journey came again from Leadership Forum Provocateurs sharing about their personal experiences, wisdom from the wider world, history and research. Had I been tweeting at the forum, below would have been some of my golden nuggets.
- Failure is the Mother of Experience
- Making pancakes is like rapid prototyping
- Your not vulnerable unless you care about what you’re doing
- Creativity scars - What's the difference between creativity scars and leadership scars?
- Lion King - “The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.”
- Kick Some Glass!
- My country isn’t getting the most from me
- Fail more, it will sting less
- The epitome of privilege is staying in our comfort zones
- In everything there is a crack, and that’s where the light comes in
Anyone who has ever failed, been fired, or not lived up to their own expectations or those of others has likely felt the torque of failure and shame. It can sometimes be paralyzing and prevent from one trying again. Fear can prevail.
Which is why one of the most powerful moments at the Leadership Forum came on the final morning. It was during the morning reflection when a story was shared about a student who had been expelled from an elite leadership high school in Africa. Students were selected from across the content and seen as future change makers. Turns out a student made a really bad decision. The school made the right decision and expelled them. I can’t imagine being that student. Having to return home and face family, friends and entire community who had found honor in having someone from their tribe or family represent them, to be seen as hope for the future. And then to fail, fail everyone. How does one face this?
Interestingly, the school community took a less than typical approach to an exit. Instead of hushing, hiding or helping the student to leave quietly, the school community pulled together and convened a public gathering. The student was center stage. Publically, people from across the community shared with this student all the positive contributions they had made. Stories of personal impact, community impact, and educational impact were shared. I can imagine this being incredibly emotional, healing, and hard for all. And at times I contemplate and wonder, could this act gloss over the bad choice that led to the explosion? I would guess this would be a good debate in any community. However, I’m inspired by the choice this school community made because for me nothing can gloss over the sting of one of my failures. Thus, I doubt this student will ever forget their failure or how his school community responded.
What I love about the Leadership Forum, is that every year, the place, community and content offers me time to slow down and unplug. Like many, I and my work is still incubating, still evolving. At the Leadership Forum we listened and honored individual stories and experiences and talked about how to reframe failure to acknowledge that without failure much in our world would not exist. Yet for many, so often our go-to thoughts about failure suggest fear, shame, and letting others down instead of discovering insight, truth, and new horizons. For someone whose work is about innovating and incubating future solutions, failure is part of the learning journey...it’s just a point in time to get better.
Joel Wright
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